I was going to go all out and send a big Merry Christmas but I paused a while...
Of course I wish merriment, love, warmth, good health... however, I would like to think it is something I would do on any day.
Right now, I just want to bear a thought for those who struggle with the heightened emotion surrounded by this time of year. Loss, ill health, loneliness, any kind of struggle which doesn't stop for one day because it is Christmas. It can and does carry on.
I recall staying longer within a visit on one Christmas. Simply because she was on her own, family too far away (all of about a half hour car trip) . She was in her nineties and sat with a withered tree, one present and to be honest she was revisiting Christmas past as best she could.
It was lunchtime and I asked when would she usually open her gift...the morning, but today she couldn't do it,not on her own.
I stayed, and together we sat and I watched her open her present. A tin of sweets. She talked, I listened and between us we recalled Christmas's from different eras and shared festive memories.
By the time I left, she appeared brighter and ready for the traditional Queens speech.
Sadly, it turned out later in the year, it had been her last Christmas.
The ironic thing was, at the time I too was living on my own but quite happy to spend Christmas on my own. I still cooked a meal, set the table, had a cracker and loved having the Christmas lights on and soft music in the background. I always phoned family and everything..for me.. was a happy time.
Yes, I would work over the Christmas period and like many would strive to bring a little bit of happiness into each visit.
I have seen the struggles and heartache many go through and I know happiness...so it just remains for me to now wish you all love and say thank you to those who carry on, to those who support and especially to YOU. x
Showing posts with label support. Show all posts
Showing posts with label support. Show all posts
Tuesday, 24 December 2013
Friday, 29 March 2013
DOING FOR OTHERS....
Another share from 'Daily Om'.....It made me think how often do we say or hear there is always someone worse off than yourself!!!!I wonder if that is a selfish thought to have or is it an attempt to be ignorant of our own situation for a while.Does it really make you feel better? Nah! not for me .
I do tend to be able to help others a lot easier at times than sorting myself out.A protective confidence kicks in and I will keep going until things are resolved. However,(even thinking about it I can feel myself curl up!) when it comes to getting things sorted for myself, it takes a lot of rummaging to find the same confidence!!!
At some point we have to face our fears and sort them out.Cringeworthy I know,however, the feeling of resolution tends to make you think..I did it,I can do it,It is now done!!!!
Get your cuppa and read on,
"March 27, 2013 Doing for Others Solace in Service by Madisyn Taylor
So many times, when we are being of service to others, we find the answer or solution to our own problems.
When we feel bad, often our first instinct is to isolate ourselves and focus on what’s upsetting us. Sometimes we really do need some downtime, but many times the best way to get out of the blues quickly is to turn our attention to other people. In being of service to others, paradoxically, we often find answers to our own questions and solutions to our own problems. We also end up feeling more connected to the people around us, as well as empowered by the experience of helping someone. When we reach out to people we can help, we confirm that we are not alone in our own need for support and inspiration, and we also remind ourselves that we are powerful and capable in certain ways. Even as our own problems or moods get the better of us sometimes, there is always someone else who can use our particular gifts and energy to help them out. They, in turn, remind us that we are not the only people in the world with difficulties or issues. We all struggle with the problems of life, and we all feel overwhelmed from time to time, but we can almost always find solace in service. In the most ideal situation, the person we are helping sheds light on our own dilemma, sometimes with a direct piece of advice, and sometimes without saying anything at all. Sometimes just the act of getting our minds out of the obsessive mode of trying to figure out what to do about our own life does the trick. Many great inventors and artists have found that the inspiration they need to get to the next level in their work comes not when they’re working but when they’re walking around the block or doing dishes. We do ourselves and everyone else a great service when we take a break from our sorrows and extend ourselves to someone in need."
I do tend to be able to help others a lot easier at times than sorting myself out.A protective confidence kicks in and I will keep going until things are resolved. However,(even thinking about it I can feel myself curl up!) when it comes to getting things sorted for myself, it takes a lot of rummaging to find the same confidence!!!
At some point we have to face our fears and sort them out.Cringeworthy I know,however, the feeling of resolution tends to make you think..I did it,I can do it,It is now done!!!!
Get your cuppa and read on,
"March 27, 2013 Doing for Others Solace in Service by Madisyn Taylor
So many times, when we are being of service to others, we find the answer or solution to our own problems.
When we feel bad, often our first instinct is to isolate ourselves and focus on what’s upsetting us. Sometimes we really do need some downtime, but many times the best way to get out of the blues quickly is to turn our attention to other people. In being of service to others, paradoxically, we often find answers to our own questions and solutions to our own problems. We also end up feeling more connected to the people around us, as well as empowered by the experience of helping someone. When we reach out to people we can help, we confirm that we are not alone in our own need for support and inspiration, and we also remind ourselves that we are powerful and capable in certain ways. Even as our own problems or moods get the better of us sometimes, there is always someone else who can use our particular gifts and energy to help them out. They, in turn, remind us that we are not the only people in the world with difficulties or issues. We all struggle with the problems of life, and we all feel overwhelmed from time to time, but we can almost always find solace in service. In the most ideal situation, the person we are helping sheds light on our own dilemma, sometimes with a direct piece of advice, and sometimes without saying anything at all. Sometimes just the act of getting our minds out of the obsessive mode of trying to figure out what to do about our own life does the trick. Many great inventors and artists have found that the inspiration they need to get to the next level in their work comes not when they’re working but when they’re walking around the block or doing dishes. We do ourselves and everyone else a great service when we take a break from our sorrows and extend ourselves to someone in need."
Friday, 15 March 2013
You are doing just fine!
Its March already,where does the time go?
Its so easy sometimes to loose track of time..you carry on doing what you do each day and all of a sudden you realise that so much time has passed.
Caring, can be the same and depending on who you work for ,the shift patterns (although you love what you do) can take its toll. All of a sudden you are grasping onto the moment when it is your day off and you can have a lie in!
With me it was every other weekend off. Not so bad.However , many don't realise the time you start , finish oh and did I mention you have to see to your own family as well.
A typical day would be up at 530am to get myself ready and out the door ,allow for travel time and be at first visit for 7. In and out of visits till about 2,phone goes and you get called back out, get back home do bits and pieces before you know it ,you are getting ready to go back out for the night run and probably won't get back till about 1030ish on the night.An hour to unwind,bed about midnight up again at 5.30am.
You get the picture.
Yet, it is still the most rewarding job to do.Tiring,definately,but most rewarding.
Once again, these silent angels run around the community and no one really notices.
I do. You bring life into the homes of so many and spread light in the darkest of moments.
From the Heart....THANK YOU.xx
Its so easy sometimes to loose track of time..you carry on doing what you do each day and all of a sudden you realise that so much time has passed.
Caring, can be the same and depending on who you work for ,the shift patterns (although you love what you do) can take its toll. All of a sudden you are grasping onto the moment when it is your day off and you can have a lie in!
With me it was every other weekend off. Not so bad.However , many don't realise the time you start , finish oh and did I mention you have to see to your own family as well.
A typical day would be up at 530am to get myself ready and out the door ,allow for travel time and be at first visit for 7. In and out of visits till about 2,phone goes and you get called back out, get back home do bits and pieces before you know it ,you are getting ready to go back out for the night run and probably won't get back till about 1030ish on the night.An hour to unwind,bed about midnight up again at 5.30am.
You get the picture.
Yet, it is still the most rewarding job to do.Tiring,definately,but most rewarding.
Once again, these silent angels run around the community and no one really notices.
I do. You bring life into the homes of so many and spread light in the darkest of moments.
From the Heart....THANK YOU.xx
Monday, 30 July 2012
Carers Support.
Where do I start with this one?
As a professional carer I always felt that the recognition was never there. The skills and care of each member took for granted . Being asked what I did for a living ;at times; got the ' conversation stopper treatment', almost a 'you get paid to do it and it is just a job, low on the rankings.' How wrong!!
I always felt very proud of what I did and would send such an attitude a silent blessing.It is a position of great privilege and a 'job' which you have to want to do. My advice to anyone thinking it is an easy option to earn a couple of pounds would be ,don't do it!
Choice is something that we all have, however there are situations in our lives which make it quite difficult to decide. Never more so than for those caring for their own loved ones 24/7 365!!
I have had a read of the forum at carers uk and have to say how heartbreaking, yet inspiring the comments are. All carers and all supporting each other.
It has given me a deeper insight into how they must feel,cope and manage their situations. One emotion I had not given much thought to, was the guilt a person was feeling for not being able to cope with the care and keeping a young family together...courageous to write about it and phenomenal, non patronising support given from others.
Carers uk is full of wonderful tips and guidance and well worth looking at.
Its good to know its there.
www.carersuk.org/
As a professional carer I always felt that the recognition was never there. The skills and care of each member took for granted . Being asked what I did for a living ;at times; got the ' conversation stopper treatment', almost a 'you get paid to do it and it is just a job, low on the rankings.' How wrong!!
I always felt very proud of what I did and would send such an attitude a silent blessing.It is a position of great privilege and a 'job' which you have to want to do. My advice to anyone thinking it is an easy option to earn a couple of pounds would be ,don't do it!
Choice is something that we all have, however there are situations in our lives which make it quite difficult to decide. Never more so than for those caring for their own loved ones 24/7 365!!
I have had a read of the forum at carers uk and have to say how heartbreaking, yet inspiring the comments are. All carers and all supporting each other.
It has given me a deeper insight into how they must feel,cope and manage their situations. One emotion I had not given much thought to, was the guilt a person was feeling for not being able to cope with the care and keeping a young family together...courageous to write about it and phenomenal, non patronising support given from others.
Carers uk is full of wonderful tips and guidance and well worth looking at.
Its good to know its there.
www.carersuk.org/
Friday, 6 July 2012
ABUSE!
A sensitive area, however as carers we are told to always be on the look out for any sign of abuse within a visit. This could be physical, emotional, financial, verbal, discrimination,self harm,eating, drink,drugs, the list goes on. However, what about the carer being abused?
Sadly it does occur, and once again a situation where as a carer you find yourself making excuses for the abuser because of the situation they are in and having to cope with it.They are probably angry, annoyed at abilities which have been reduced and basic frustration.However, they do require help and if you have been abused you require support too.
Quite simply it is not acceptable. To be cornered in a kitchen with all sorts of utensils to hand to the abuser and no way of the service user being reasonably talked out of it, is a scary situation to be in. In this scenario, visits became a double up and as should be the case the carer was withdrawn from visiting.
The ongoing effects can run quite deep.Support, as with most things is offered by the crate load at the time because its 'all new' but what happens a couple of months down the line and you realise you would benefit from some help now?
It is out there.You are NOT alone and it is quite natural for it to take a while to come to the surface.
Should you feel you are in that situation now, please feel strong enough to get in touch with the Carers Coffee Pot. All messages recieved are viewed personally before being published so it won't go on the blog if you don't want it too, just make sure you say so.
Alternatively, if you want a reply you can always email to carerscoffeepot@gmail.com and I can reply to you as soon as I can.
You are important to the CarersCoffee Pot, and your wellbeing is important to you.
If you have a few minutes, take a look at this article.....You really are not alone.
http://suite101.com/article/caregiver-abuse-by-an-elderly-spouse-or-parent-a215050
Sadly it does occur, and once again a situation where as a carer you find yourself making excuses for the abuser because of the situation they are in and having to cope with it.They are probably angry, annoyed at abilities which have been reduced and basic frustration.However, they do require help and if you have been abused you require support too.
Quite simply it is not acceptable. To be cornered in a kitchen with all sorts of utensils to hand to the abuser and no way of the service user being reasonably talked out of it, is a scary situation to be in. In this scenario, visits became a double up and as should be the case the carer was withdrawn from visiting.
The ongoing effects can run quite deep.Support, as with most things is offered by the crate load at the time because its 'all new' but what happens a couple of months down the line and you realise you would benefit from some help now?
It is out there.You are NOT alone and it is quite natural for it to take a while to come to the surface.
Should you feel you are in that situation now, please feel strong enough to get in touch with the Carers Coffee Pot. All messages recieved are viewed personally before being published so it won't go on the blog if you don't want it too, just make sure you say so.
Alternatively, if you want a reply you can always email to carerscoffeepot@gmail.com and I can reply to you as soon as I can.
You are important to the CarersCoffee Pot, and your wellbeing is important to you.
If you have a few minutes, take a look at this article.....You really are not alone.
http://suite101.com/article/caregiver-abuse-by-an-elderly-spouse-or-parent-a215050
Friday, 25 May 2012
Is it ok to grieve?
It was just gone 7.00am, spring in my step,sun shining,a beautiful start to the day. I'm about to set off for my first visit of the day. The mobile rings. I'm told to cancel the visit..... the service user has died.
No other information was given. No details. No sincereity. From the progammers view, it was a case of 'cross off the timesheet for the rest of the week.'
Sounds cold for a caring profession eh? I agree, however from their point of view they have a job to do and visits to cover at very short notice or to cancel.
Of course I had to carry on with the rest of my morning visits.Being cheerful and positive for others while I helped them get ready for the day. I had to keep this sad news to myself and get used to the idea very quickly of not seeing this person again.
I had been in most days for the past nine months and I had been in the previous day. A normal visit, nothing out of the ordinary and oh how quickly it all changed. Even though death was expected at some point, it still threw me.
So, how was I going to deal with this? First off, I wasn't going to cross them off my timesheet until the end of the week! My little way of recognising them as a person and not just a name on a list.Secondly, I would attend the funeral.Thirdly, I'm gonna have a good cry.
The only support I got from colleagues was at a meeting in the afternoon. It went along the lines of..Who was the last to see them- me...how did they look-fine...Are you ok-yes...Moving on, about elastic stockings...! That was it! No offer of talking to a supervisor if I needed, no offer of anything.
Definately on my own with this one. So, I'm here to put the record straight.
Yes I cried. Yes I thought about this person and their young family. Yes I went to the funeral.
I allowed myself to grieve, albeit in my own time.
It was ok, behind close doors no one was going to judge me or tell me Im not tough enough.I questioned my own morality, I wondered if I had done enough in the visits, I hoped the family didn't think I was being rude by not sending a condolence card (I was told it was not the thing to do and not part of the job- too personal).I did want to talk about it to someone at work but it wasn't going to happen.
This was my first experience of a death in my job. Sadly, one of many over the years. I learnt how to cope with it and kept it on a private and personal level. For each person, I had always gone home and lit a candle. I would admit to myself any sadness I felt and if I needed to cry I would.
“It's so curious: one can resist tears and 'behave' very well in the hardest hours of grief. But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer... and everything collapses. ”
― Colette
www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/
.http://astore.amazon.co.uk/carerscoffeep-21
No other information was given. No details. No sincereity. From the progammers view, it was a case of 'cross off the timesheet for the rest of the week.'
Sounds cold for a caring profession eh? I agree, however from their point of view they have a job to do and visits to cover at very short notice or to cancel.
Of course I had to carry on with the rest of my morning visits.Being cheerful and positive for others while I helped them get ready for the day. I had to keep this sad news to myself and get used to the idea very quickly of not seeing this person again.
I had been in most days for the past nine months and I had been in the previous day. A normal visit, nothing out of the ordinary and oh how quickly it all changed. Even though death was expected at some point, it still threw me.
So, how was I going to deal with this? First off, I wasn't going to cross them off my timesheet until the end of the week! My little way of recognising them as a person and not just a name on a list.Secondly, I would attend the funeral.Thirdly, I'm gonna have a good cry.
The only support I got from colleagues was at a meeting in the afternoon. It went along the lines of..Who was the last to see them- me...how did they look-fine...Are you ok-yes...Moving on, about elastic stockings...! That was it! No offer of talking to a supervisor if I needed, no offer of anything.
Definately on my own with this one. So, I'm here to put the record straight.
Yes I cried. Yes I thought about this person and their young family. Yes I went to the funeral.
I allowed myself to grieve, albeit in my own time.
It was ok, behind close doors no one was going to judge me or tell me Im not tough enough.I questioned my own morality, I wondered if I had done enough in the visits, I hoped the family didn't think I was being rude by not sending a condolence card (I was told it was not the thing to do and not part of the job- too personal).I did want to talk about it to someone at work but it wasn't going to happen.
This was my first experience of a death in my job. Sadly, one of many over the years. I learnt how to cope with it and kept it on a private and personal level. For each person, I had always gone home and lit a candle. I would admit to myself any sadness I felt and if I needed to cry I would.
“It's so curious: one can resist tears and 'behave' very well in the hardest hours of grief. But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer... and everything collapses. ”
― Colette
www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/
.http://astore.amazon.co.uk/carerscoffeep-21
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